How involved should the bride’s father be in the wedding? Should he help with wedding planning? Should he help financially? What about the toast during the wedding ceremony? Here’s everything you need to know about the father of the bride duties.
Before the wedding day
Traditionally, father of the bride should pay for the wedding. These days, budgets are handled in different ways, the cost may be shared between both families or the couple may pay for the wedding themselves. If you can, help financially.
Meet the other set of parents
Reach out to the other set of parents shortly after the engagement (if you have the couples’ blessing) and get to know each other.
Engagement party is traditionally hosted by the parents of the bride. You aren’t obligated to host this event, but it’s a nice gesture. Wait until the wedding guest list is completed, before inviting the guests to the engagement party. Anyone who is invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding.
Talk with your daughter about the style and vibe for the wedding celebration. Ask what type of attire will wedding party members wear. Choose the tuxedo based on that.
Offer a shoulder to lean on. Listen to your daughter’s questions, confessions and complaints.
During the wedding day
Walk down the aisle
Walk your daughter down the aisle. Help her keep an even pace, remind her to slow down and look at all the guests there. This will also give the photographer enough time to take pictures of everything.
Give the bride away
Don’t forget to kiss your daughter before you give her away at the altar. Also, give her spouse a handshake or a hug before you go back to your seat.
After the vows and the pronouncement, it’s time to recess out of the ceremony. Traditionally, bride’s parents come last, after the grandparents, wedding party members and groom’s parents.
You’ll probably do some photographs before the wedding ceremony and some during the cocktail hour. If you took pictures with immediate family members before the ceremony, the cocktail hour is a good time for pictures with your friends and extended family members.
Before the dinner, the host should welcome guests and thank them for coming. If you are the host, feel free to also give your toast to the newlyweds. If the couple is hosting, you should give the toast after the first course or after the dinner. Practice your toast and keep it positive. If the toast is going to be longer than 5 minutes, give the wedding planner/coordinator the heads up.
Participate in the father-daughter dance. Pick a song that will make you both smile.
Say goodbye to guests who leave early
Senior guests will probably leave early. If the newlyweds don’t see them, you should make sure to say goodbye to them, so they know they are appreciated.
Wedding planner/coordinator should be in charge of this, but if not, you may be tasked with giving tip envelopes to the vendors.
After the wedding day
If you are returning your tuxedo, bring the groomsmen attire with you. They will probably have a hungover from last night.
If the couple is heading for the honeymoon right after the wedding, mail the marriage licence.
Next day gathering
You may be too tired to host a breakfast, but if the weather is right, you can host a barbecue in the afternoon. It’s perfectly fine to bring someone to prepare the food.
What are your thoughts on father of the bride duties?
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